Patterns of Past, Present, Promise: Reflections of Strength
I was 18 when I was diagnosed with HIV. The months leading up to my diagnosis were filled with fear and confusion. I wanted to donate blood, to do something good – but what followed was a series of healthcare missteps and poor communication. Eventually I received the news I’d been so afraid of – I was HIV positive.
From that moment, my life split in two. Before my diagnosis…and after. At first, I was consumed by shame. A ‘red wave’ of panic. A feeling of isolation that was hard to explain. As a young man, it felt like coming out all over again – but even harder.
But I chose to fight. Despite my fear, the issues I’d experienced motivated me to educate myself and advocate for better information, communication and treatment.
The fight wasn’t just for me. I have witnessed the devastating impact of HIV in my community and now I am fighting for the friends I lost. One died from depression and anxiety after his HIV diagnosis. Another passed from an HIV and TB coinfection before he could get treatment. Their stories – their preventable deaths – drove my determination to speak up.
Thanks to the Global Fund partnership, millions of people are healthy and well on HIV treatment – including me. But accessing treatment from where I live in Oruro, Bolivia, is still a challenge. The medical centre is in a distant location, far from my home.
My mother is a doctor, and she worries constantly – especially with tuberculosis so prevalent in our region. But I’m lucky. Today, I am undetectable. I am thriving. And I know my voice matters.
My story is woven into the pattern you see on my T-shirt. A mirrored image reflects two sides of me – one lost in fear, the other standing strong. Aching and healing, darkness and light, fear and strength. The flowers are for the friends I’ve lost, and those who lifted me up. The pills represent the daily treatment that keeps me alive. The aguayo – the fabric of my culture – weaves it all together. My pattern, my fight, my Bolivia.
This pattern is a beautiful reminder that the fear I felt gave rise to my purpose – fighting HIV stigma, discrimination and lack of healthcare access. My pattern tells my story, but it also represents my generation, my Andean community and everyone who can’t speak out.
HIV is preventable and treatable. Yet too many lives are still lost to stigma and silence. No one should die because they’re afraid, or because help is out of reach. In Bolivia, HIV prevalence among trans people is 31%. Among men who have sex with men it’s 26%. And only 57% of people living with HIV are on treatment. These aren’t just numbers. These are people – our friends, our families, our futures.
Every struggle is personal. Stigma takes a toll on our mental health. But no one is alone. Around the world, there’s someone like you and me. Someone who can, has, and will overcome.
We have the tools to defeat HIV. We have the knowledge. We need commitment and action. Today I am studying law and am dedicated to fighting for better healthcare access in my community. We cannot stop now. Together, we must stop at nothing to finish this fight.
With thanks to Raffael Arias for honoring Ivan’s story in this pattern.